# Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
# Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
# Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
# Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
# Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.
# Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
# Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals.
# Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
# Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.
# Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"
# Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
# Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
# Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
# Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
# Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
# Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got a group discount.
# Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
# Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.
# Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
# Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.
# Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
# Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
# Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
# Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
# Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her.
# Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet.
# Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
# Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit
# Your mom is so fat, you can swim in her belly button
.
# Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a bathroom and pissed in her pants.
# Your mom is so stupid, she tried to steal free samples.
# Your mom is so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.
# Your mom is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
# Your mom is so stupid, she got stabbed at a shoot-out.
# Your mom is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
.
# Your mom is so old that she farts dust.
# Your mom is so old that the milk in her tits is expired.
# Your mom is so old that Moses is in her yearbook.
# Your mom is so old that she owes Jesus a quarter.
# Your mom is so old that she only has two teeth and they're both in her pocket!
# Your mom is so old that she has an autographed version of the Bible.
# Your mom is so old that when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
# Your mom is so old that she knew Burger King when he was a Prince.
.
# Your mom is so ugly that she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
# Your mom is so ugly that I went to your house, kicked in the door and your mom came out barking.
# Your mom is so ugly that she popped her head out the window and got arrested for indecent exposure.
# Your mom is so ugly that she makes blind kids cry.
# Your mom is so ugly that the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
.
# Your mom is so poor that I rang your doorbell and she shouted "DING-DONG!"
# Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.
.
# Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and keeps getting laid by Mexicans.
# Your mom is like a screwdriver, everyone gets a turn.
# Your mom is like a gas station, pump first then pay.
# Your mom is like 7-Eleven, she's always full of mexicans.
# Your mom is like McDonald's, "Serving Millions."
# Your mom is like a rail road, laid all over the country.
# Your mom is like an SUV, big, black, and full of Mexicans.
# Your mom is like a door; I banged her all night.
# Your mom is like a police station, dicks go in and out of her day and night.
# Your mom is like good paint, cheap and easy to spread.
# Your mom is like Chinese food, every one gets a chance to eat her out.
# Your mom is like a toilet, fat, white and smells like shit.
