Flower Twixt Weed

[DramatisPersonae]

I shall drink this dried-up cup of rain

I shall pledge it with it’s red to your beverage,

For worlds are shattered and meld anew

For puny people in shade of your hue.

Stay brave now, my mother of pain,

As I breathe my last breathe of rain.

If this life is but to suffer

I return to thee, my pain-mother.

 

And inside, I won’t become a part of you,

Every destiny is one; I will become you.

 

04.07. 2005

 

[Милица]

Uspeo si nesto sto sam mislila da je tesko moguce-em je na engleskom,em je sa THEE,a svidja mi se..JAKO.

[DramatisPersonae]

Ma jeli?

Shto ne volish Thee?

[Elizabeth]

 

da, u pravu je Beauty... kad se samo setim svih pokusaja kad sam ja upotrebljavala to THEE...ali u mojim tvorevinama to tako izvestaceno deluje..

[Angelystor]

This is actually, mlogo mlogo dobro.

[Elizabeth]

As I breathe my last breathe of rain.

 

Pojasni.

(nevermind sto mislim da znam poentu)

Edited January 12, 2006 by Elizabeth

[Милица]

Ma jeli?

Shto ne volish Thee?

Zato sto u vecini pesama na engleskom koje procitam,Thee ima svrhu da izmedju ostalog,'nosi' pesmu (zajedno sa izrazima tipa 'blood','full moon','sorrow',itd...)-i nosi je,ali u propast..to su vrlo cesto pateticne prazne reci nabacane na gomilu,i cine vrlo ifoliranu 'pesmu'.

I ta izvestacenost se oseti i u losem kvalitetu pesme.Svidja mi se kako si ti upotrebio Thee,i generalno mi se taj manir govora svidja,ali gomila pesnickih antitalenata tome polako daje drugi smisao.

Definitivno da mi se Thee svidja u poeziji E.A.Poa,ali u 'poeziji' netalentovanih gota je..uzas!!!

[AGGRESSOR55]

vidim kupio si recnik

[DramatisPersonae]

vidim kupio si recnik

Uvek!

Hell yeah!

Edited January 13, 2006 by DramatisPersonae

[DramatisPersonae]

Pojasni.

(nevermind sto mislim da znam poentu)

Pa poprilichno je jednostavno...

Rain je zivot.

Edited January 13, 2006 by DramatisPersonae

[azal]

Dear Sir,

 

Here are several little problems I have encountered with your teenage ode to bereavement.

First of all, let me say that the content, if not directly meant to be so, does in fact seem to be very oedipal, and let it be know that the professor does in no way condone incestuous relations, no matter how lovely your mother may be. I realize there are numerous examples of, shall I say, “healthy looking” middle-aged women, with breasts still standing tall like daffodils in the summer, and sculpted posteriors, firm like the ancient mounds of Stonehenge, but the practice of copulating with the one from whose womb you had been initially ripped from, strikes the professor as being very seedy and tasteless, much like American country music.

 

Nevertheless, let us get to the work at hand.

 

First let me talk about the title. “Twixt,” is short for “betwixt,” or in modern English, “between.” However, a flower cannot be growing between a weed, since there must be at least three objects involved in order for one of these objects to be considered to be between the other two. Perhaps consider the plural, “weeds.” Let us move on.

 

“I shall drink this dried-up cup of rain”

 

Now, poetic licences and freedoms are afforded to everyone, but dear child, drinking that which is already dried-up is, at the least, an improbable scenario.

 

I shall pledge it with it’s red to your beverage,

 

Regardless of the fact that “its” should be written as such and not as a contraction, you must pardon my French when I tell you that the professor has no idea what the fuck you are trying to say here. Are you pledging the cup or the rain? Is the cup red or is the rain red? What is your mother’s beverage of choice? My mother harbours a relative affection for Spanish Sangria.

 

For puny people in shade of your hue.

 

First of all, you need to place an article in front of “shade,” preferably “the.” Secondly, do you write “shade” as in the degree in which a colour is mixed with black and the gradation of darkness, or as a physical space of partial darkness? Also, is the “hue” you write of the Vietnamese city of Hue? Just a joke my friend, the professor had quite a bit of brandy with his brunch today and in such cases inherits a keen predilection for a bit of the old, shall I say, tomfoolery. I jest with you, let it be known.

 

 

As I breathe my last breathe of rain.

 

As you breathe your last breathe? Dear scholar, you cannot perform an action to a verb. You can breathe a breath, but you surely cannot do what you have written.

 

 

I return to thee, my pain-mother.

 

No hyphen necessary between pain and mother. No big deal though, as they say.

 

And inside, I won’t become a part of you,

Every destiny is one; I will become you.

 

You sick, sick little boy. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Actually, forget I asked that.

 

 

Better luck next time scholar, and if your mother is indeed a stunning woman, feel free to have her call me to set up a parent-teacher conference.

 

 

Best regards,

 

Professor Azal

 

Edited January 13, 2006 by azal

[Elizabeth]

 

au...

e, ovo se zove kritika...mrzi me i da citam

[ResurrectioN]

Lazo, aj bidi fini pa skupi sve Professor Azalove dopiske pa meti u jednu temu

Edited January 13, 2006 by ResurrectioN

[DramatisPersonae]

Dear Sir,

 

Here are several little problems I have encountered with your teenage ode to bereavement.

First of all, let me say that the content, if not directly meant to be so, does in fact seem to be very oedipal, and let it be know that the professor does in no way condone incestuous relations, no matter how lovely your mother may be. I realize there are numerous examples of, shall I say, “healthy looking” middle-aged women, with breasts still standing tall like daffodils in the summer, and sculpted posteriors, firm like the ancient mounds of Stonehenge, but the practice of copulating with the one from whose womb you had been initially ripped from, strikes the professor as being very seedy and tasteless, much like American country music.

 

Nevertheless, let us get to the work at hand.

 

First let me talk about the title. “Twixt,” is short for “betwixt,” or in modern English, “between.” However, a flower cannot be growing between a weed, since there must be at least three objects involved in order for one of these objects to be considered to be between the other two. Perhaps consider the plural, “weeds.” Let us move on.

 

“I shall drink this dried-up cup of rain”

 

Now, poetic licences and freedoms are afforded to everyone, but dear child, drinking that which is already dried-up is, at the least, an improbable scenario.

 

I shall pledge it with it’s red to your beverage,

 

Regardless of the fact that “its” should be written as such and not as a contraction, you must pardon my French when I tell you that the professor has no idea what the fuck you are trying to say here. Are you pledging the cup or the rain? Is the cup red or is the rain red? What is your mother’s beverage of choice? My mother harbours a relative affection for Spanish Sangria.

 

For puny people in shade of your hue.

 

First of all, you need to place an article in front of “shade,” preferably “the.” Secondly, do you write “shade” as in the degree in which a colour is mixed with black and the gradation of darkness, or as a physical space of partial darkness? Also, is the “hue” you write of the Vietnamese city of Hue? Just a joke my friend, the professor had quite a bit of brandy with his brunch today and in such cases inherits a keen predilection for a bit of the old, shall I say, tomfoolery. I jest with you, let it be known.

 

 

As I breathe my last breathe of rain.

 

As you breathe your last breathe? Dear scholar, you cannot perform an action to a verb. You can breathe a breath, but you surely cannot do what you have written.

 

 

I return to thee, my pain-mother.

 

No hyphen necessary between pain and mother. No big deal though, as they say.

 

And inside, I won’t become a part of you,

Every destiny is one; I will become you.

 

You sick, sick little boy. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Actually, forget I asked that.

 

 

Better luck next time scholar, and if your mother is indeed a stunning woman, feel free to have her call me to set up a parent-teacher conference.

 

 

Best regards,

 

Professor Azal

 

To a more drearer Sir,

( )

 

Well, I bid you meny thanks for noticing my little problems in my "ode to bereavement", but, lest is sicker a view of a sick'nd? And woe betide him who in others see what the sightless eyes hath created.

Oh, but no! Lest in this woe is me!

But I keep you assured that no oedipal thought hath crossed my mind.

 

And as thy mind confine within this world,

as such hast this "weed" my vine.

(bare not in mind that when I say a vine, I do mean vine...)

 

And dare you I, to drink this cup that everyone has drank but none has inebriated gone... Thus here I do embrace this emptiness that everyone has bequeath'd me. And in it I find my red, and I do pledge it whole for this vainly bacchanalia and vainglore of petty-humans.

 

jest with me, I approve, just pass on that brandy when thou art done...

(but save some for me )

*As I breathe my last breathe of rain.

second breathe is a spelling flaw, mind me not! For I shall berave it of it's e.

E.

 

 

Trust me, you whouldn't like my mother...

But, still I can call you to set you up with a "poetry and metaphors in easy twenty-one steps" book.

 

 

Better regards,

 

Your modest pupil.

[Angelystor]

jebote meny.

[DramatisPersonae]

Meny meny...

[Anarki StarScream]

 

( ovo znaci da mi se svidja, a mrzi me da pisem recima, a zabranjeni su samo smajliji )

[DramatisPersonae]

Shta ti se svidja, pesma ili moje dojebavanje sa Azalom?

[Kent]

ja mislim da bi trebalo skupiti materijal svih professor azala do sada i to ekranizovati u animiranoj formi... prejebalo bi family guy i drawn together zajedno

[blondie]

ja mislim da je proslo Azalovo izlaganje poprilicno sjebao Profesor Crusader