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ma to je ono znam ga iz vidjenja pa onda ga znam dve godine i na kraju deset godina, t sto tvrdite da je narkoman samo pokazuje da ne bi mogli narkomana da prepoznate na ulici. covek izgleda zdravije nego ikad, pretpostavljam da se devedesetih mozda i gudrirao, ali sam ubedjen da vec jedno sedam dina nije ni na cemu. A i licemeri pogledajte koliko vasih ortaka odradjuje vutru eksere i koks!!! Osim naravno ako ste i dalje deca iz srednje skole

Ej, hajde odjebite sa politikom na ovoj temi.

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Ja ne znam sta je sa ovim mojim ortacima,uhvatila ih ja manija zvana Facebook.Nadjoh neku sluku,sta se desava kad si dugo tamo

 

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Brat mi je po citav dan na fejbuku, najbolji drug mi je po citav dan na fejsbuku, citavo odeljenje u skoli mi je na fejsbuku, e pa ja necu dok sam ziv!!!

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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

 

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

 

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

 

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

 

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

 

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"

12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!

 

 

 

 

There was a flood in a village.

 

One man said to everyone, "I'll stay! God will save me!"

 

The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said "Come on mate, get in!"

 

"No" replied the man. God will save me!

 

The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.

 

A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help."

 

No, God will save me!" he said

 

Eventually he died by drowning.

 

He got by the gates of heaven and he said to God "Why didn't you save me?"

 

God replied, "For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!"

 

 

 

 

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

 

The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balchoy."

 

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

 

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

 

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

 

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

 

The third man came to the front of the line, and St. Peter asked for his story.

 

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."

Edited by The Joker
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koja je razlika izmedju necega faktički i fiktivno?

 

pita klinac caleta

- koja je rezlika izmedju "faktički" i "fiktivno"

 

kaze cale, idi sine pitaj sestru da li bi se jebala za 100€

- ali cale, sestra mi je, kako to da je pitam...

samo je ti pitaj...

 

ode sin, smara sestru, sve izokola, p je konacno pita

- a jel, jel bi se ti jebala za 100€?

sestra onako malo postidjeno, pa bih...

- tata tata, rekla je sestra da bi!

 

dobro sine, idi sad to pitaj mamu...

opet se mali buni, ali pristane

i opet ista situacija, sve izokola...

na kraju i mama kaze da bi...

 

- tata tata, rekla je i mama da bi!

dobro sine, sad idi pitaj babu.

ali tata ona je starija zena, kako... samo je ti pitaj!

ode mali kod babe, pa sve opet izokola...

- a jel baba, jel bi se ti jebala za 100€?

pa znas sinko, kakva je penzija, bih...

 

- tata tata, rekla je i baka da bi!

 

e vidis sad sine,

mo fiktivno imamo 300€, a fakticki imam 3 kurve! :)

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^ eh. moj matematicar je, izmedju ostalog, rekao sledecje

 

"Ovo treba da znate, mislim ovo je trebalo da znate, ali ako niste trebalo da ga znate, onda ga sada trebate da ga znate"

 

O.o

 

a takodje i

 

"sta ste se bre nabili tim klupama tako u tablu! idite kucji pa se tamo nabijajte u tablu!"

xD

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