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Humor (bez YUTUB linkova!)


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Four Catholic men

 

and a Catholic woman

 

were having coffee.

 

The first Catholic man tells his friends,

 

"My son is a priest.

 

When he walks into a room,

 

everyone calls him 'Father'."

 

The second Catholic man chirps,

 

"My son is a Bishop.

 

When he walks into a room,

 

people call him 'Your Grace'."

 

The third Catholic gent says,

 

"My son is a Cardinal.

 

When he enters a room,

 

everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

 

The fourth Catholic man then says,

 

"My son is the Pope.

 

When he walks into a room,

 

people call him 'Your Holiness'."

 

Since the lone Catholic woman

 

was sipping her coffee in silence,

 

the four men give her a subtle,

 

"Well....?"

She proudly replies,

 

"I have a daughter,

 

Slim,

 

Tall,

 

38" breast,

 

24" stomach,

 

and 34" hips.

 

When she walks into a room,

 

People say, "Oh My God."

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Omg

 

Zelim te! Hocu da te odvucem u krevet, da te lomim i preznojavam, da se treses dok me imash, i da ti telo gori... Voli te tvoj H1N1

 

Virus gripa sve je blize, ljudima se slabo dize, pa zbog straha od zaraze, slabo svoje zene gaze. Al ti zato junak budi, neka ti se narod cudi, pa zenama udovolji, od lekova sex je bolji. Nemoj da se zene brinu, nek ti dodju za vakcinu, i neka ti tesko nie, tebi borcu pandemije :D

Edited by ShInIgAmY91
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Kupila Ciganka detektor lazi. Donese ga kuci i pita sina:

 

-Sta si dobio u skoli?

-Pet.

(Uredjaj): -BIIIP!

-Dobro, trojku sam dobio.

-BIIP!

 

Sin na kraju priznaje:

 

-Ok, dobio sam keca.

 

Majka:- Kad sam ishla u skolu,imala sam sve petice...

Uredjaj: -BIP!

Cigan:-Sin, kad sam ja isao u skolu...

Uredjaj:-BIP!

Sin:-Tata, ti nisi isao u skolu!?!?

Ciganka:-Nemoj da ga zezas, otac ti je!

Uredjaj:-BIIP, BIP,BIIIP,BANG!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Doživeo Lala klinicku smrt. Cim je došao sebi, sjate se razne vojne službe. Prvo ruska. Pitaju ga:

-Ima li Boga?

Lala kaže:

-Ima.

Rusi mu plate milion rubalja da ne prica da ima Boga. Onda do njega dospe tajna služba Vatikana i pita:

-Da li ima Boga?

-Nema-Kaže Lala

Papini izaslanici mu daju milijardu evra da ne prica da nema Boga. Onda dode CIA i pita Lalu:

-Ima li Boga?

-Ima-Kaže Lala-Al' je crnac!

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