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Posted

Kaze mali Suljo - ne volim tatu jer nikad nije kod kuce,ili radi,ili je u birtiji. Ne volim mamu, uvijek je po komsiluku,na pijaci,i na poslu. Pitaju ga : Pa koga volis? Reprezentaciju BIH Oni nigdje ne idu :D

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Posted

Hteli se Englez, Francuz i Srbin zaposliti u CIA-i.

 

Prijave se na testove a oni ih tamo bace kroz najžešće testove: snalaženju u prirodi, glad, žeđ, borba prsa u prsa, čuvanje tajne, i na kraju kad su sva trojica prošli dolaze do finalnog testa. Dovedu im žene, stave ih u određene prostorije a njima daju pištolje i kažu im da ih ubiju.

 

Prvi Englez ulazi unutra, vadi pištolj, repetira, uperi ga u ženu, oće-neće, i kaže:

- Ma ne mogu. CIA je CIA al' žena je na prvom mestu.

 

Drugi ulazi Francuz, vadi pištolj, repetira i nišani, al' ni on ne može.

 

Ulazi Srbin unutra. Čuje se bam-bam-bam a posle toga lomljava, vika i posle pet minuta izlazi on sav krvav i kaže:

- Mamu im jebem, dali mi ćorke, pa sam morao da je dokrajčim stolicom!

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Posted

Dode Mujo na kiosk i pita prodavacicu:

- Do you speak English?

Prodavacica :

- Ne

Mujo, razocaran, okrene se i ode ...

Dode on na drugi kiosk i opet pita:

- Do you speak English?

opet ista stvar - Ne...

I tako, ode na treci kiosk i opet pita:

- Do you speak English?

Prodavacica:

- Yes

Mujo sav srecan:

- Marlboro !

 

 

Sretne Mujo opaticu i zamoli je da mu pruzi veche zajdnickog uzitka, pa c ona njemu oshtro:

-Samo ako nisi ozenjen i nemas decu.

-Naravno da nemam ni jedno ni drugo!

 

Posle svrshetka, kazu oni jedno drugom:

-Ja imam decu,a zena me ceka kuci sa vecerom.

-Ja sam Milenko i kasnim na maskenbal!

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Posted

Наравно, наш Патријарх се преселио у Рај, до самог Господа.

Сутрадан по доласку у Царство Небеско, за доручак – парче хлеба с пекмезом. Исто за ручак, па и за вечеру...

Обрати се наш Паја Богу са речима: „ Господе, не бих да изгледа да се нешто буним и да ми није право, али како то да овде код Тебе у Рајском Насељу.... хлеб с пекмезом за доручак, исто за ручак, па опет исто за вечеру...“?!?

„Ма мрзи ме, бре, да кувам само за нас двојицу“!!!!! – беше Створитељев недвосмислени одговор.

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Posted

theflatearthsociety.org

 

Q: "What is the circumference and diameter of the Earth?"

 

Circumference: 78,225 miles

Diameter: 24,900 miles

 

In John Davis's model, the Earth is an infinite plane and is 9000 kilometers deep.

 

Q: "What about the stars, sun and moon and other planets? Are they flat too? What are they made of?"

 

A1: The sun and moon, each 32 miles in diameter, rotate at a height of 3000 miles above sea level. As they are spotlights, they only illuminate certain places. This explains why there are nights and days on Earth.

 

A2: In James McIntyre's model, the sun and the moon are metallic discs. These discs are being held above the Earth by photoelectric effect.

 

Q: "Why are other celestial bodies round but not the Earth?"

 

A: The Earth is not one of the other planets. The Earth is special and unlike the other bodies in numerous ways.

 

Q: "What's underneath the Earth?" aka "What's on the bottom?" aka "What's on the other side?"

 

A: This is unknown. Some believe it to be just rocks, while others believe the Earth rests on the back of four elephants and a turtle.

 

Q: "Why doesn't water run off the Earth?"

 

A1: In the general model, there is a vast ice wall that keeps the water where it is. The ice wall is roughly 150ft high. This also explains why you can find a vast plane of ice when you travel south. Antarctica as a continent does not exist.

 

A2: In James McIntyre's model, the height of the ice wall increases toward the edge. The ice wall holds the oceans in place.

 

Q: "NASA and other world space agencies have pictures of the Earth from space, and in those pictures the Earth is clearly a globe; in this day and age, hasn't it been proven beyond any doubt that the Earth is round?"

 

A: NASA and the rest of the world's space agencies who claim to have been to space are involved in a Conspiracy to keep the shape of the Earth hidden. The pictures are faked using simple imaging software.

 

Q: "Are you saying NASA had Photoshop in the 1960s?"

 

A: Of course not. Back then the pictures taken were of far lower quality and were likely produced using analog means.

 

Q: "How did NASA create these images with the computer technology available at the time?"

 

A: NASA did not send rockets into space; instead, they spent a fraction of their funding on developing increasingly advanced computers and imaging software to cover their lies.

 

Q: "If you're not sure about the motive, why do you say there is a conspiracy?"

 

A: Well it's quite simple really; if the Earth is in fact flat, then the space agencies must be lying when they say it isn't.

 

:ph34r::udri::udri::udri::udri::udri::udri::udri::udri::udri::mhihi:

Posted

Vozi se Svabo sa svojom zonskom kroz Bosnu, vuce on gliser i krenuo na more.Objasnjava joj:

- Mala, ovdje zive neverovatno glupi ljudi, zovu ih Bosanci. Cudo jedno kakvi su glupani!

Nije proslo mnogo, na semaforu Mujo i Haso zaustavljaju Svabu i mole ga da im da vatre da upale cigarete. Kaze Svaba zenskoj:

- VIdi kako cu ih sasa za*ebati!

Uplai zmigavac i pokaza Muju da pripali. Pati se Mujo, ali ne uspijeva. Svabo odluci da mu pomogne pa upali duga svjetla. Pokusava i Haso, pate se dobrih 10 minuta, ali dzaba. Kada je Svabi dosadilo da zaje*ava Bosance, pokaza im da se maknu i nastavi put. Pohvali se curi:

- Aaa, sta sam ti rekao, kakvi su samo bolidi!

Mujo i Haso ostali na putu, gledaju za autom pa kad je odmako okrenu se nezad prema zbunu:

-Omere, je*em te smotana, pa koliko ti je trebalo da otkacis taj gliser???

 

 

Razgovaraju Ibro i Haso:

- "Bolan, Ibro, jesi li cuo da je Mujina Fata umrla od radijacije?"

- "Kako, bolan, od radijacije?"

- "Ubio je Mujo radijatorom."

 

Kaže zeka zmiji:

- Izvini što sam te zajebavao što nemaš noge...

- Ma nema veze, bilo pa prošlo.

- Dobro, evo ruka!

Posted (edited)

@svi u vezi Nar telefona: nadam se da ste videli na kraju za sta je reklama :da:

inace navelo me je na pomisao zasto nikad ne vidjamo muskarce koji se briju dok idu negde :D mislim onim elektricnim na baterije. Ako vec kasnis... :D

Edited by MissionVao
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