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Humor (bez YUTUB linkova!)


Guest 10 dinara

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pa da ja ne razumem, ne bih tebe pitao i stavio ona dva smajlija... :pivopije:

jbg, ipak ja idem vec 11 godina u razred sa seljacima (ne mislim "seljaci" kao SELJACINE, vec pravi seljaci...) :)

Ok. :pivopije:

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Decak ulazi u sobu.

-Mama kupi mi biciklu

-NE

-Mama molim te kupi mi biciklu

-Ne

-Ali mama molim te kupi mi biciklu sva druga deca imaju biciklu, molim te kupi mi biciklu

-Ne, vec smo pricali o tome. I nemoj vise da me zoves mama, to sto sam sa tvojim ocem ne znaci da sam ti majka.

-Pa kako onda da te zovem?

 

-Cika Zoki

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Bull and Turkey

 

A turkey is chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighs the turkey, "but I just haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replies the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecks at a lump of dung and finds that it actually gives him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reaches the second branch.

Finally after a week, there he is proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Unfortunately he is spotted by a farmer, who shoots him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Imash ti i dobrih momenata dechko. :pivopije:

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:lol:

 

Dođe lopov u banku i opljačka je i po izlasku upita jednog čoveka:

- "Jesi li me video?"

Čovek:

- "Jesam."

I pljačkaš ubije čoveka. Upita drugog:

- "Jesi li me video?"

On kaže:

- "Nisam ali moja žena jeste."

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To je prefinjeni humor, nije za svakoga...

ја не могу да схватим да неко ово не конта :) :)

Ne krivim uopste coveka.

Sta,nije sad svako citao Meri Popins kad je bio mali.

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- Kako se pare jezevi?

- Oprezno, vrlo, vrlo oprezno...

 

///////////////////////////

 

- Koja zivotinja ima dve sive i dve smedje noge?

- Slon koji ima proliv.

 

///////////////////

 

Zena:

"Sta da ja umrem? Da li bi se ponovo ozenio?"

Muz:

"Ne bih!"

Zena:

"Sto? Ne volis sto si ozenjen?!"

Muz:

"Naravno da volim."

Zena:

"Zasto se onda ne bi ponovo ozenio?"

Muz:

"Dobro, ozenio bih se."

Zena:

"Bi?" (s tuznim izrazom lica).

Muz:

(uzdise).

Zena:

"Da li bi ziveli u nasoj kuci?"

Muz:

"Naravno, ova kuca je super."

Zena:

"Da li bi spavali u nasem krevetu?"

Muz:

"A gde bi drugo spavali?"

Zena:

"Dao bi joj da vozi moj auto?"

Muz:

"Verovatno, novi je."

Zena:

"Da li bi stavio njene slike, umesto mojih?"

Muz:

"Verovatno bih morao."

Zena:

"Da li bi ona koristila moje palice za golf?"

Muz:

"Ne, ona je levoruka."

Zena:

Tisina....

Muz:

"E, jebi ga."

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