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Humor (bez YUTUB linkova!)


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Guest HEFEST
Posted (edited)

Ide komad hleba Etopijom, ali spazise ga ljudi na ulici i nastade prava jurnjava za njim. Bezi on tako kroz male uske sokacice i upade u bastu nekog lokala, kad tamo sedi komad salame i pije pice. Kad ga hleb ugleda, histericno povika: - "Bezi i tebe ce pojesti !" Na to ce salama: - "Nista se ti ne brini, spasavaj sebe, za mene oni jos nisu culi.

Edited by HEFEST
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Posted (edited)

Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.

 

Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.

 

Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

 

Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

 

Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.

 

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.

 

Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.

 

Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.

 

Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"

 

Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.

 

Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

 

Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.

 

Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.

 

Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

 

Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got a group discount.

 

Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.

 

Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.

 

Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

 

Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.

 

Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.

 

Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.

 

Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.

 

Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her.

 

Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back.

 

Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit

 

Your mom is so fat, you can swim in her belly button.

Edited by Bitlđus
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